Psilocybin ceremony?? As some of you might know, I was going to do an Ayahuasca ceremony on June 18th. I had been wanting to do it for at least a year but had some reservations and probably some hidden fears. Once I committed to the ceremony, was at peace with the situation, started the cleansing processing, and really began to do some deep breathwork and meditation over the course of a couple of weeks, it became clear that my journey was about to take a turn.
It was almost as if I had to work through the fear of saying yes and committing before my higher self began to speak to me and give me the guidance I had been asking for over the last year.
As you probably also know, I started my microdosing journey a few months back with psilocybin (magic mushrooms). This has been very healing and transformative for me. The message I got through my meditations and breathwork sessions was that my ceremony on the 18th was to be with psilocybin, not ayahuasca. I sat with it for a few days to make sure it wasn’t my ego trying to take the easy way out, although I don’t know that it is considered an easy way out!
Before the 18th, I had never done a real trip with mushrooms or anything other than a microdose so it was still a big unknown.
I planned the journey and ceremony to be out in nature with my husband and just have him there in case I was dumb and got scared or something. Even though I live on a farm and I literally live out in nature, I wanted to be somewhere away from my property and just out somewhere else. So what the rest of this article will be about is my journey, what happened, what insights I got out of it and how I integrated it after.
Are you ready?
The Journey Begins
The plan was to leave for our camping trip Friday night and return Sunday morning. My husband is a firefighter and works 24 hour shifts. He worked from 7am Thursday to 7am Friday. They are a bit short staffed at the moment and so he was ordered back to work another 24 hours Friday. Not off to the best start, but that’s ok. As a fire wife, I’ve learned that these things happen and I just need to go with the flow.
So Saturday morning came around and we set off around 11am, got set up and I started to settle in around 12:30. My husband left for an hour and I got my little altar or box of love things set up, pulled some cards, meditated, lit some palo santo and cleansed myself and my environment and wrote out my intentions.
My intention was two fold but mainly the same topic. I wanted to be shown the connectedness of all things and where I fit into all of it. I wanted to see and experience the energetic connection and the vibration of all things.
I originally had a personal goal, but decided that this was something that I truly wanted more so than having an intention about my life path or something like that. I really, really wanted to see the connection on an energetic level and how I was a part of that.
At about 1:30, I took my dose of psilocybin and just chilled waiting, walked around barefoot outside for a while, hugged some trees (literally) and just spent some time outside. It usually takes about an hour or so for things to start kicking in any way. After about an hour I was starting to feel things, not strong, but different. I laid outside on the grass, meditated a bit, but then decided I needed to take more. So I did.
The Second Dose
About 2 minutes after I swallowed more, I started feeling much more intense things. Mind you, this was not yet due to the second dose, but still the first dose that finally started to kick in. I had that moment of immediate regret, like “oh crap, I just took a bunch more and maybe I shouldn’t have”. I had a brief moment of panic, but then went outside into nature and let the Earth’s energy calm me down.
I was sitting outside and just looking into the trees and looking at the grass. The ground and the grass started moving in waves. Not big waves, but small waves. Not breathing, per se, but just moving gently. The pathway that was asphalt was not moving. Just the grassy area. I was looking into the tall trees and was able to see them in a much more dimensional way. I could see how they were connected above the ground just as though they were connected below the ground.
By this time my hubby was back and we talked for a bit and I realized I was going down trip lane. I went into the bedroom of our RV, laid down, put an eye pillow on my eyes, put on noise cancelling earphones and just meditated. The meditation lasted for about 1.5 hours but it literally felt like 20 minutes.
Akashic Records Meditation
The meditation was a journey into the Akashic records. And here is where I got something answered that had been heavy on my heart but was not part of my original intention. I’ll get to it in a bit, but it did have to do with the Akashic records.
So the journey to the akashic record for me was what took me through a long winded answer to my question about the connectedness of all things and where I fit in. It is one thing to say that everything is energy and everything is connected and everything is ONE, but it is another thing to feel it and experience it and be able to visualize it in a new way.
Normally when we go through visualizations about traveling to the Akashic records, it is this big production about going to a big place with books. That visual representation works for many people. It never has for me. I will dive into the Akashic records another time, but for now, let me just say that I view the Akashic field the same as the Quantum field. It is a space of all information. All that has happened, is happening and will happen.
Rather than visualizing going outward into space or somewhere else, I went within. My higher self was within, rather than around or above. But even though I was going in, I traveled at a macro level, either that or I was just super, duper small.
Shedding the Illusion
The first thing that happened is that I released the attachment to my body. I felt this shedding and this lightness. There was no longer a barrier between me and all things. When my energy body separated from my physical body, it was like this “stretching” that occurred. Never full separation, but like I was a piece of gum that was being stretched. The stretch could go on forever.
We can go anywhere at any time, we just need to stretch if we aren’t already. We will never fully be separate from who we are “are”. It was like an infinitely strong balloon being blown up. There is less density, more space, larger surface area. It can touch more things and be in more space. It can infinitely stretch and be everywhere.
I remember that there was no distinction between inhaling and exhaling. Inhaling was like breathing underwater, not choking, but actually breathing. It is the best way I can describe it. The inhale would never end and would morph into an exhale. But it was all one movement. A continuous, yet the same kind of movement. Like it was happening at the same time. It is so hard to describe that part as I just don’t have the words to adequately describe it.
When I shed the illusion of my physical body, it felt like I was moving in this river without water. It was like a wormhole almost.
Wormholes and Fractals
This wormhole had all these smaller wormholes that were coming inward, almost like the villa of an intestine. The system was like a neural network of a brain. Or the network of the cosmos. They were all one in the same.
I was a part of this wormhole system. There was no separation. Once my skin and physical body were shed, there was simply no separation. I couldn’t tell where I ended or something else began. And that was the point. I still had consciousness because I still thought in terms of “I”. But it was almost as if it was simply a focal point vs an actual definition of being.
This whole system was a fractal. Infinite in both directions. Where I was on the scale of things was irrelevant because there was no way to measure the directions, macro and micro were infinite. It just WAS.
Everything is Movement
Everything was simply movement. Vibration. There were smaller or larger vibrations, but the closer or farther I looked, it was all the same. The same vibrational symphony. This symphony of vibrations looked different and appeared to behave differently depending on the vantage point. But it was all the same the closer (or further) I looked. We make up this vibrational symphony and are connected by it.
I saw that the universe is movement and only movement. Through movement is sound. And through sound is all things.
My journey was to remove the barrier. To stretch myself until I was so thin there was nothing at all except movement. A good analogy would be the memory of water. If you don’t know much about this subject, it is fascinating. I’m not going to dive into it, but I will describe an experiment and you’ll just have to take my word for it.
They’ve done studies where they put a substance in water. Then they keep diluting and diluting and diluting until there should be nothing left of the substance at all. Statistically impossible. Yet, the water holds the memory of the substance long after it should be undetectable. That is what I saw this as. When stretched thin enough that there was nothing more of me, I was everywhere, yet I was still “I”.
The Akashic Record Strings
When I “arrived” at the records, it was not this big hall of books like many people visualize it as. I tried to think of it that way, but I just couldn’t. Every time in the past I would get so frustrated when I would do these guided meditations about entering this big library and finding books with my name on them and I never could. I know this is just a way to visually represent the idea but I always felt like I was failing because I couldn’t visualize it in this way.
This time what I saw was an infinite number of strings. They were thinner like threads though, but I’ll just call them strings. They were all different colors, like metallic strings floating around in the void. Intertwining, combining, separating. When I picked a string, or even two strings and put them together, they told a story. This was my hall of the Akashic records. A collection of string, not books. The colors were meaningful, the length, all of it.
These strings were data to be translated. Translated in a way that only I could because this was my representation of the records.
Trusting in Myself
So, the second issue that this journey solved for me was a decision that was weighing heavy on my heart. I’ve always wanted to learn to read the Akashic records. There are a few very popular ways and rituals to go into the records and honesty I don’t jive with them. The records are within us all. And we each have a unique way to access them.
I spend so much time wanting other people to teach me things and I am finally entering a point in my life where I am realizing that I simply must look within. So there was this huge Akashic records reading program I was debating taking which was a hefty chunk of change. The money part didn’t bother me, but it was a dilemma as to if I needed to do it. I felt like I would take it and still be where I am right now. And I think I was right.
If I had taken it and tried to learn how to read the records the way someone else does, then it wouldn’t have resonated with me and I still WOULD be where I am right now.
This journey taught me that the records are threads that weave through the field and I simply need to go there in my mind.
The Earth is a Cell
The last very strong imagery that I got was that the Earth was like a cell in our body. Each of our cells have different kinds of receptors that bind with different things. When they bind, they allow in whatever it is they bonded with.
On Earth, we are those receptors. We let things in or allow things to escape. What was shared with me was that part of the awakening and ascension process that we are going through on this Earth is a change in receptors.
The Earth is dying as it is being covered with cement, asphalt, buildings, and all that. Nature is being obliterated. So this ascension and awakening we keep hearing about is a change in receptors (i.e us), a raising of vibration to bind with higher frequency energy patterns to draw into the living organism that is Earth. Together, we ascend WITH the Earth. We also act as a transmission device and send energy out and that is part of the change as well.
Another way to look at this is an ascension to love which I have talked about before. This is a different way to describe the same thing.
As we ascend, we shift our energy, we raise our frequency, we draw in that higher frequency and send it to the Earth. The Earth then sends that frequency higher up through us and out. It really is a collective process. So the raising of consciousness is a reconfiguration of the Earth’s energetic receptors (otherwise known as humans). When we don’t connect with the Earth with our bare feet, for example, we short circuit that process of energy exchange, and the connection to Earth and the cosmos is dim.
We have cells in our bodies. The Earth is a “cell”. The universe is a “cell”. As above so below. The macro and micro are the same.
When I ended my meditation and decided to get up. I laid there for a bit and looked at my hands. They started out looking like my hands, but then became yellow and greenish. It was like I watched them age before my eyes and then become the hands of a dead person. It was like a signal to me that this body is temporary and will come and go. To remember that it is not me. It is just a vessel. A temporary vessel to complete a mission, experience life and do what I came here to do.
And then I got up and hung out with my hubby for the rest of the night. All in all, a beautiful first journey. I will be taking another one next month, so stay tuned!